


Action!

by UglySandwich



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Human, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-10-24 17:30:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17708591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UglySandwich/pseuds/UglySandwich
Summary: Greg Universe is a young director looking to make the greatest Space Opera television series of all time. His ideas are incredible, his work ethic just so, but his cast and crew are total buffoons. It’ll be a miracle if this show airs by Christmas! Follow the actors’ and actresses’ hijinks on and off set as they play the roles of their lifetimes. An AU where Steven Universe is a live action show and the main characters are the actors.





	1. Meet and Greet

**Author's Note:**

> Check the end notes for a list of characters in case you get confused!

_The whole world’s heard about Steven Universe. Some people love it, some hate it- but no one loves it like I do. It’s hard to believe that playing a role could wind up changing not just my career, but my world view, and my whole life for that matter. As unbelievable as it is, it’s true. I’m sure that’s the case for so many of my other cast members too! But we didn’t get to this new life overnight. To understand us, and the paths we chose to get here, we have to go back to the beginning._

_Our story starts outside a homeless shelter in LA, where Greg Universe and Dana Ryder happened to cross paths._

“No! You can’t kick me out, this place is all I have!” Dana hollered. She couldn’t be bothered with the curious passersby and their glances as she jammed herself back into the shelter door, trying to force herself back inside.

An elderly man, scrawny and scarcely able to hold his own against her, barely managed to shove her back outside. “We have rules against violence, Dana. You know that.”

By the time she stood up, the door was shut and locked. “Shit. Now what am I going to do?” There was nothing to do but walk, she supposed. A few steps in, however, a man entered her life that would change everything for the better.

Cue Greg Universe, running across a busy street just to get to her. He was a sight to behold, in chopped jean shorts and a riped tee. “Hey!” he called, approaching her fast.

Dana looked surprised. “Me?”

“Yeah, you. You just have this look. You know? And I just heard you got in a fight! That’s great!” He said, a little too proud of his advances towards a complete stranger. He grabbed her by the arms and took a good look at her.

She was black, darker than average because of a suntan, with honey brown eyes and freckles. She was short, but that was more than perfect to him. Her most striking feature was her hair- shaved on one side, untamed curls on the other, and with a red scarf wrapped around her head.

“Why is that great?” She asked, yanking herself out of his grip. “Listen, whatever art film you want me in, I don’t do that.”

“No! It’s not like that! I’m filming a television show, one for all ages. No funny business. You fit a role I’ve written really well! I know this sounds like a lot, but just meet me here today at four. I promise you won’t be disappointed.” He handed her his card with the address to his studio on the back, and then he left her alone.

* * *

 

“We’re running a little early, Di. Are you sure we should even be in the studio?”

All the lights were off, except a single spotlight. It poured light onto the beach set, bathing the area in a white light. Diane was so enthralled that she simply had to kick off her shoes and put her toes in the fake sand.

“Oh come on Janice, I wanted to come in early. It gives me time to get familiar with the place so I don’t look like a lost puppy,” Diane explained, tossing a handful of sand at the behemoth of a woman standing nearby.

“You have a point, but- hey!” Janice stopped in her tracks, scooping up her friend bridal style and spinning her around. “Gotcha!” She laughed at her fake scream of terror, dancing around in the sand with a lithe woman in her arms. Things were fine and dandy until she tripped on something wooden and came crashing to the ground.

“Oh! I’m okay, are you okay?” Diane asked, lifting her head out from a mess of crushed foam sandcastles.

“I’m fine, I don’t think the props are though.” Janice groaned, helping her friend up from the mess they’d made. “Looks like I tripped on a ukulele. I hope that wasn’t expensive.”

Just when Diane was about to speak, the front door creaked open. “We’re sorry! We were just looking arou- oh. It’s just a kid.”

Dana scoffed. “I’m nineteen, thanks. This is The Crystal Gems studio, right?”

Janice nodded. “Yeah. It’s almost four, Greg should be here soon and so should the rest of the cast. Today is meet and greet day. And I guess we already met you. “Janice Lande, and this lovely lady is Diane Knowles.”

Dana looked up at the two. One of them was pale with massive, thick hair and scars along her arms. The other was a tall, dark and beautiful woman, probably Polynesian. Both of them held out their hands for handshakes, and she took both of them.

“Dana Ryder. Nice to meet you.”

“So,” Diane asked. “Who are you playing? I’m Lapis, Janice is Jasper.”

“I actually don’t know yet. Some dude just came up to me on the street and told me I fit a character and he wanted me here.”

Diane’s jaw dropped. “No way. I went through three auditions and you just got it like that?” She shook her head. “Unbelievable.”

The door creaked open again, and Dana could barely hear the others talking as actress Kathryn Reyes made her way into the building. She was the most beautiful creature Dana had ever seen, with her full lips, long golden tresses, and piercing blue eyes. She just had to say hello- so she strode over to Kathryn and stuttered out a “H-hey.” She’d meant for that to be cool- but she managed to trip and land right in front of a beautiful stranger as she talked.

Thankfully, Kathryn didn’t seem to mind. “Need a hand up?” She asked, reaching down to a lovestruck Dana.

When Dana looked up and the two locked eyes, the whole world seemed to stop. “Yeah, thanks, I-“ She stopped when they touched hands, and as she rose to stand, she didn’t let go. “I guess I fell for you. What’s your name?”

Janice gasped. “You mean you don’t know?”

Kathryn shook her head. “There’s not much to know! I mean- I’m just another actress. Kathryn Reyes. And who are all of you?”

“Janice.”

“Diane.”

When it was Dana’s turn to introduce herself, the door burst open and in came Rina Riotous, flipping on all the studio lights like she owned the place. There she was, sauntering in. She blew a bubble with her gum and it popped all over her face.

“That’s a good look for you, Rina!” Janice called from across the studio.

“Thanks! I just texted Greg, he’ll be here in like, two minutes.”

As she cleaned up, in filed Betty Smith, a lanky, pale woman with a cheerleader ponytail. “Oh! Hello, fellow cast members! What a pleasure it is to see you all. I look forward to getting to know you!” Her smile was a little off, but that didn’t stop the giant teddy bear of a woman, Janice, from waving her way.

Then, just when the gang thought things couldn’t get any weirder, Estrella Nichols walked in. She didn’t even say hello- she simply sat in the director’s chair, tapping away at her phone. The gang stood awestruck, grateful just to be in her presence.

After a long silence, Estrella looked up, only to find everyone staring at her. Almost everyone. Dana didn’t seem to care.

“Who is that?” She asked, tapping Diane on the shoulder.

“Estrella? Estrella Nichols?” The starlet said, raising an eyebrow. “Never heard of me, huh?” Her lips curled into a smile. “Finally. Someone I can relax around. We’re friends now. What’s your name?”

“Dana Ryder. I like your accent. Where are you from?”

“London. I travel a lot though. I just finished my European tour a few days ago.”

Dana shrugged. “I’ve been all around the states too, I feel you.”

The door burst open a final time, revealing Greg Universe. “Hey! I see you guys got here early. Don’t tell me you already started meeting and greeting without us,” he said playfully.

Men and women with food carts filled to the brim followed behind him. “Boss says to place ‘em by the beach set. He wants them to get familiar with it,” Kylie, the assumed leader of the crew.

“Oh! This is the camera, lighting, sound and animation teams,” Greg told the actors. “I hope you can all get to know each other well. Comradery and friendship is huge in The Crystal Gems. Love is the force, like in Star Wars, that pretty much influences everything. Alright, who would like to introduce themselves? Tell us everything about you, and everything about your character.”

Janice was too excited to wait. “Ooh! Ooh! I’m Janice Lande, an amateur actress. I was in Sharkicane, but nobody liked it. I love big dogs and my roommate Diane- who’s with us today as Lapis. I play Jasper, the big, tough bad guy. I’m not quite sure what this fusion thing is, but I apparently fuse with Lapis to make Malachite, an unstable gem. Alright! Diane, you go!”

Diane smiled and waved, making her way to the front of the group. “Hey. I’m Diane Knowles. I’m a three time runner up for Miss America, and a Covergirl. I was also a lifeguard for a while, because I like water. That works out in my favor since Lapis Lazuli is hydrokinetic. Who’s next?”

“Estrella Nichols. Garnet.”

Greg nodded. “Alright. What about you?” He pointed to Betty.

“Betty Smith. I’m head cheerleader at Delmarva University, a straight A student, and an aspiring actress.” She flashed a perfect white smile, winking towards the group. She was too perfect, it seemed. “I’ll be your Pearl. I’m just like her, she’s smart and responsible.”

Rina stood up, tossing thick purple hair over a bronzed shoulder. “Rina Riotous. I’ve never acted outside high school theater, but I’m made for this. I play Amethyst, a fun-loving chick who loves food.”

Last but not least was Kathryn. She smiled- which may or may not have rocked Dana’s world- and told them, “Kathryn Reyes, seasoned actress. I’m Sapphire, a cyclops seer who fuses with Ruby to make half of Garnet.” When she was done, she looked to Dana, asking, “Who are you?”

“Dana Ryder. I don’t exactly know who I’m playing yet or what I got myself into, all I know is that Greg said I looked like somebody.” She crossed her arms and looked towards Greg. “Got a role for me, director?”

“You play Ruby, the other half of Garnet, and Sapphire’s girlfriend.”

Kathryn raised an eyebrow. “So… My character is male? Why didn’t you hire a guy?”

“Here’s the kicker- they’re both women. All the characters are women. We’re going to be the first mainstream sci-fi show to feature LGBT characters!” Greg beamed. “I want this show to be accessible to everyone. I want little girls to grow up and see strong women who aren’t afraid to be themselves. I want young women who like other women to have someone to relate to. Is that so wrong?”

Kathryn nudged Dana. “I guess we’re just going to have to get to know each other better. Gotta have chemistry to play the roles right.”

“Ruby and Sapphire have been in love for thousands of years. They devote their lives to each other, and Garnet, who’s both of them combined, is a part of this rebellion called The Crystal Gems who fight for love, individuality, and the protection of humans. Let me tell you more about the story…”


	2. Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dana and Kathryn have a sleepover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's pure, don't get your petticoats all ruffled. In case you haven't noticed, this is a toned down version of my old actor AU. You know the one. So some scenes will be reused in this fic, like a scene from this chapter.

_Ruby and Sapphire are everyone’s favorite couple. They sacrificed everything for each other, it’s hard not to think of them as relationship goals. But that chemistry you see between them? That was more real than you think. All of it started after the meet and greet, when Dana begged her new friends to let her crash on one of their couches._

“…Please?”

Rina flashed her phone at Dana. “My dad says no. You’re like, an adult. It’d be weird. Plus, it’s a school night.”

“Aww, honey. You can stay with us until you get on your feet.” Janice cooed, patting Dana’s back. “We’d be happy to take you in.”

“Jan? Not tonight. It’s that night again and I didn’t shave my legs for nothing.” Diane said. “Sorry kid. Maybe another night?”

Dana sighed, deflating a little as she made her way to the door. “I’ll sleep outside the studio. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t done that before.”

Kathryn, like the angel everyone knew she was, pulled her back by the hand. Ignoring the heat rising in her cheeks, she told her, “Come home with me. I have space. It hurts seeing all those people sleeping in the streets. Let me change the fate of just one person tonight.”

When her mouth went dry and her words failed her, Dana could only muster a nod. She smiled.

“Shall we go then? My car is around back.”

And then they left together, their hands still locked.

The lot was small, with all sorts of cars ranging from nice to lemons scattered throughout. One car stood out though- a white Rolls Royce convertible.

Dana raised an eyebrow. “I wonder who owns that one. It sort of looks like if the Pillsbury Dough Boy were a transformer.”

But when Kathryn pushed the unlock button on her car, the rover chirped. “What was that?” She said jokingly. With a coy little smile, she lead her friend to the car and opened the door for her. “I’m sorry, it’s a little flashy. But I was in a commercial for one of these. My manager then thought it was a good idea to strike a deal- I get a free car, they get free advertising.”

The other woman raised an eyebrow. “You’re famous, aren’t you?” She sat in her seat and her eyes went wide. “Okay, that was probably the best deal ever, this is so comfortable.”

Kathryn flushed, a little embarrassed that Dana was talking about her celebrity status like that. “I’m just another girl, honestly. I don’t really like the fancy things. You can have this car if you want- I have my Jeep back at home and I miss driving it.”

“Wh- really?!”

The top rolled down as Kathryn started the car. “Really really. Ever been in a car with no roof?”

“Not until now!”

And with that, she pulled out into the street, and away they went.

* * *

 

“So this is your apartment? I thought you’d live in some sort of mansion.”

“Why, do I look like a mansion kind of girl to you?”

Coming up the hall were Dana and Kathryn, arms linked and hands full of leftovers from dinner.

Dana shrugged. “I don’t know. I just didn’t expect you to be so approachable. I thought everyone like you was some crazy rich, pretentious and wouldn’t bother with someone like me.”

Kathryn scoffed as she unlocked her door. “People like you? But you’re so one of a kind! I like you because of that. Come on in, by the way. Make yourself comfortable while I get the champagne.”

Dana rubbed her arm. Her entire life she was just average, and like everyone else. What the hell did Kathryn even see in her? But a part of her craved this so badly. The feeling of a close friend was something she’d long forgotten. When she looked up, there was Kathryn, blonde hair finally out of her bun and cascading down her shoulders. Two glasses were in her hands, and when Dana should’ve picked one up, she sat there dumbfounded. She’d never felt so gay in her life.

“I don’t know if you’re 21 or not, but at least you’re 18. That’s old enough for a little alcohol in my opinion.”

Dana couldn’t hear anything besides her pounding heartbeat as she took the glass. It was classy for maybe a minute. Three drinks later, she was lying on the living room floor with Bowie, Kathryn’s cat, and crying over her little bean paws.

“But Kaaaathyyy. Look! They’re just little stumps! I’m! I’m dying! What kind of cat is this, why is he being so patient with me?”

“He’s a good cat, isn’t he?” Kathryn mentioned as she set down her drink and crawled to the floor with her. She laid down on her side, facing Dana as they both rubbed the Persian’s face and back, and listened to him purr. “I wonder if you’ll purr if I pet you!” She giggled.

“Are you drunk or just a weird person?” Dana asked, setting the cat aside to scoot closer to Kathryn. “I mean, I wouldn’t mind it.” She laughed and leaned her head in close, letting the star run her hands through her frizzy afro. The touch was more than welcome, proven by the little hum she let out.

“I’m sober. I just don’t really have boundaries. Putting your guard up limits the chances of finding something great in a person, and hinders relationships.” She scratched her friend’s scalp then, earning her a little groan. “Humans used to comb each other for bugs. Millenia later, that satisfying, clean feeling still lingers even when we use a hairbrush. Fascinating, I think.”

“You’re weird, but I really like this. Anyways, what’s your story? How’d you end up here?”

“I went from Sesame Street to a family sitcom to my own reality show and now I’m a film star. Pretty stupid and simple. But I know nothing about you, you mystery. You said you were homeless? Why?”

Dana gulped, something in her very core rattling with fear. Her mouth gaped. “I… When I turned 19, I came out. My parents gave me a day to pack up my shit. I- if you’re uncomfortable with a gay person in your house, I can leave.”

“Why would I be uncomfortable? Love is the purest thing in the universe. It doesn’t matter who it’s with.” She smiled and pulled her hands free of the frizz, and cupped Dana’s cheeks. “You are going to find a woman who loves you for this,” she said, punctuated by a tap to Dana’s forehead. “You’re smart, I think.”

Her body was on fire, every nerve electrified from the touch. Kathryn had made her feel things she’d never felt- and not just in her body, but deep in her being. She wasn’t sure what the feeling was, and she didn’t have time to find out either. The effects of the champagne began to lull her to sleep.

“I- I appreciate that.” _Please don’t stop touching me._ “But can we maybe settle down for the night? I’m suddenly-“ yaaawn, “-sleepy.”

Kathryn got up to help the drunken girl to her feet. In her extended palm was a scar, eerily similar to the one in Dana’s opposite hand. When she caught the woman looking at it, she quickly switched hands. “It’s not pretty. I was at a bonfire with the cast of _Haunted_ and the director thought I owed him a blowjob for getting the lead. He accidentally set one of his marshmallows on fire and stuck it in my hand when I said no. Like, just aimed a burning stick right at me and went nuts.”

“I have one too! I touched the stove when I was four.” The stockier woman managed to stand by herself and showed off her scar, just before taking the starlet’s hand and tracing the pattern of the scar. “I’m sorry dumb guys think you owe them. Nobody’s ever thought of you, have they?”

There was a moment of silence between them, in which Kathryn realized she’d liked Dana a little more than she first thought. Taking a deep breath, she boldly asked, “Tomorrow, when you’re sober, would you like to- I mean, I was just wondering if maybe you want to try kissing? Only so we won’t have to waste such an experience like a first kiss in front of a camera?”

“Oh my stars.” Dana flushed a bright red. “Of course- I was kind of thinking the same thing. But let’s get some sleep. I’m so tired.”

Kathryn nodded and lead her off to the bedroom. “Stay with me tonight?”

“There’s no place I’d rather be.”


	3. Come Away With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janice and Diane run lines.

_From what I recall, Janice and Diane have a history. They don’t tell anyone, of course, but there are some bits and pieces I heard of their conversations. They’ve been together for years, supposedly. Still, nobody really knows the half of what they do. All I know is that they were unbreakable, and it was obvious from the day I met them._

The ride back to their apartment was silent. Diane drove their beat up Chevy truck down the highway, looking over at her friend every now and again. She couldn’t help feeling anxious, but that was nothing new. Janice wasn’t talking, and Janice was the biggest talker she knew.

Instead of conversation, Janice turned on the cassette player, and fumbled around in the glove box for a tape. One of them said _“To Di, from Janice.”_ The label was peeling off and had mystery stains on it, but it still went into the player with ease.

Static crackled all around the music, but the music was clear enough to be heard. _“Come away with me in the night. Come away with me, and I will write you a song.”_

Janice finally turned to look at the driver, but when Diane looked at her, they both averted their gaze.

“We don’t have to go those swing lessons I signed up for. I know I prepared to wear a dress, but it’s just not worth going if that’s not what you want to do.” Diane was mostly focused on the road, but she wished she could stop the car when she heard her friend sigh on the other side of the car.

_“Come away with me on a bus. Come away where they can't tempt us with their lies.”_

“I want to, but that class is going to be all rich, older married couples. Straight couples who eat tapas and avocados! Avocados, Di. And I know we need to learn how to dance for The Crystal Gems, but… I’m just a little worried.”

_“And I want to walk with you, on a cloudy day, in fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high. So won't you try to come?”_

“Lots of women dance with their gal pals. It doesn’t have to be a big deal.” After they pulled into the parking garage beside their building, Diane patted her friend on the shoulder. “I get it though. I used to feel the same way, but it’s 2013. Being gay isn’t exactly illegal-“

“Don’t say that word.” Janice mumbled, frantically pulling the almost-broken handle to get out of the car. She finally got out, but her foot got stuck between the chair and the glove box. “Every damn time. You know I told you not to get this one, we both knew I’d have trouble getting out.”

“I was sixteen and I was working at Mc Donalds, don’t blame me for not springing for a Cadillac.”

“You could’ve done better than a car from ’92.” She finally pulled her foot out, before storming towards the main building.

Arguing with her friend was futile, so Diane simply followed her into the complex. Behind the safety of an elevator door, she finally said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you mad.”

“Yeah, whatever. Let’s just go in and run lines.”

“Come here, brat! Aw, don't fly off so soon.” With a script in one hand and Diane’s arm in the other, she growled, “Lapis, listen, fuse with me!” She let go of her script to grab her by the face, her massive hands smushing her friend’s cheeks together. She let go almost immediately, mentioning, “I don’t like that. I don’t like being mean to you. I wonder if I could get this changed? Maybe Jasper could be a little less-“

“Jan. Focus.” Diane got back into character. “What?” She cried, a little more overdramatic than she would have liked. Before she could complain about it, though, Janice had already moved on to her lines.

“How long did they keep you trapped here on this miserable hunk of rock?” She shoved her down onto the bed. They were using it in place of a safety cushion like they’d have when it was time to do the scene at work.

But that worked out as well as you’d expect for two people with more sexual tension between them than rabbits in the spring. Before Diane could look back to check who had the next line, there were a pair of lips on hers.

_“Come away with me and we'll kiss on a mountaintop. Come away with me, and I'll never stop loving you.”_

She gasped, wrapping her arms around the larger woman as they tumbled onto the sheets.

“I’m sorry,” Janice mumbled, shaking hands reaching out to hold Diane’s face. She kissed her like they used to when they were nineteen and trying to figure out what that feeling was between them- so deliberate, but shy.

They’ve been in this state of limbo for nine years- halfway between friends and lovers since they were fifteen. As much as she wanted this, it hurt knowing it would never amount to anything. She lived for it, though. Any affection from Janice made her fragmented heart and mind feel whole, just for a while. “You don’t have to do this.” Or maybe it was her that didn’t want this. She didn’t know.

“But I want to.”

_“And I want to wake up with the rain falling on a tin roof, while I'm safe there in your arms. So all I ask is for you to come away with me in the night. Come away with me.”_

**Author's Note:**

> A convenient list of the cast so far and who they are in SU:  
> Greg- Greg  
> Dana- Ruby  
> Kathryn- Sapphire  
> Janice- Jasper  
> Diane- Lapis  
> Estrella- Garnet  
> Rina- Amethyst  
> Betty- Pearl


End file.
